In your Eyes...

"He reminds me of me" I say to my wife at the dinner table. "I think he reminds me of me." my wife counters. Both of us are talking about the problems and struggles we had as children and of course see hints of them in our son. We both fear that our weakest traits, shyness, insecurity, learning challenges, transferred from us into our son and basically loaded him up with the worst in both of us. I am sure that is the reaction of many parents when reliving their childhood through their kids eyes. We have all the memories, all of the past scenarios we wish we can just redo like an armchair quarterback. 

Those learned experiences seem to be what parents draw from most when raising children, statements like "I do not want my kid to go through what I went through", or "I do no want my kids making the mistakes I did." are fears that drive parenting, but it does not have to be the case. I think of all the fantastic qualities my son has inherited in my wife and myself.

My son's personality traits include focus and determination, both qualities my wife and I possess. My son has an distinct eye for art and color, qualities in my wife's category. My son has an ear for music and dance, things I enjoy. My son has a no quit attitude, things my wife and I both draw upon for success. My son has athletic ability, strength, and sportsmanship, traits he gets from me. My son is lighthearted and resonates warmth, two of the reasons I love my wife. Most of all, my son has a sense of compassion, for his family and for helping others, both qualities giving him tremendous character, something he has earned on his own.